everyone will experience heartbreak that will change his outlook on love for the rest of his life, either hard to believe or numb

it's true and i got numb, it's so bad that this condition turns out to be. there are so many good people who come to me intending to be a rainbow after the rainstorm that i have gone through.

but still can't make me accept them and allow them into my life. i don't know what this is, what is clear is that i can't describe my own feelings. 

yesterday i died to forget you but what died was my feeling to love someone else
love runs out in the old man is true yes. like i don't have more effort to accept and even respond to good people who come to me

actually I also need someone I can share my complaints with. but the more I get here, the more I feel that myself is more than enough to be a place to lean on. I don't want to be disappointed anymore, I don't want to go into the same abyss again. 

I have not been willing to share this broken heart with anyone else and I have kept my promise that there will be no other man after finishing with you.
to all the good people who have tried to be a rainbow after my rain.
thank you for all the effort, time, and attention you have given me whether it was for a long time or a short time.
I apologize profusely that the feeling was not reciprocated from me. even the entrance was not opened. nothing is wrong, only I am still not ready to share my heart.